<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Empty Casket by Jen27ny</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25222681">Empty Casket</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jen27ny/pseuds/Jen27ny'>Jen27ny</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Gen, Presumed Dead, So much angst, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark feels guilty</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 12:47:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,860</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25222681</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jen27ny/pseuds/Jen27ny</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After the Vulture, Tony should have known better. </p><p>He should have listened to Peter. </p><p>But he didn’t. </p><p>And now, Peter is dead.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Peter Parker &amp; Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>405</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Faye’s Favourites, The Friendly Neighborhood Exchange</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Empty Casket</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vintervittran/gifts">Vintervittran</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi everyone! </p><p>This is part of the <a href="https://friendly-neighborhood-exchange.tumblr.com/">Friendly Neighborhood Exchange</a> and a gift for <a href="https://vintervittrannerd.tumblr.com/">vintervittrannerd</a>! Her prompts were angst, Peter is presumed dead, and Tony calls Peter his kid/son for the first time, and I completed like... 2.25 of them. </p><p>Special thanks to <a href="https://jelly-pies.tumblr.com/">jelly-pies</a> who was kind enough to beta-read for me! </p><p>Enjoy! :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After the Vulture, Tony should have known better.</p><p>He should have listened to Peter.</p><p>But he didn’t.</p><p>And now, Peter is dead.</p>
<hr/><p>“There’s this weird gang,” Peter says in between two bites of food, “and-”</p><p>“Kid, I don’t want to see your half-eaten burger, but I would love to hear your story. Swallow that down, and then talk. Geez, I thought May raised you better than this,” Tony teases – well, not really, because he <em>really</em> doesn’t need to see Peter’s food while it’s still in his mouth – and pops a fry into his own mouth.</p><p>Peter gives him a sheepish look and makes a show of swallowing down his food. “Sorry.”</p><p>“Now, what do you want to tell me?”</p><p>“On my last couple of patrols, I noticed this gang – well, I think it’s a gang, but they could be just a couple of friends who are really into leather jackets. Why are so many bad guys into leather jackets?”</p><p>“Because they look cool. And I have leather jackets, too, so don’t throw any shade.” Peter scrunches his face up like he always does whenever Tony uses slang he’s way too old for. Tony, on the other side, can’t hide his smirk. “I should probably buy you a leather jacket. It’ll look great with all your geeky t-shirts.”</p><p>“You think so?” Before Tony can answer, Peter shakes his head, trying to get back to the original topic of their conversation. “Stop distracting me!”</p><p>“Sorry, sorry, I’ll behave. What’s with these friends who all have impeccable fashion sense?”</p><p>“I’ll think they’re up to something.”</p><p>“What makes you say that? Did you see them doing anything suspicious?”</p><p>“I mean, they’re kinda walking around and looking at buildings.”</p><p>There’s another joke on Tony’s lips, but he stops himself before accidentally blurring it out. The entire mentor gig is still very new to Tony, even though they’ve spent more and more time together in the last couple of months. Biweekly visits to the compound turned into lab sessions twice a week in Tony’s private lab in his penthouse in Manhattan, communicating through an unhappy Happy turned into endless text conversations (half of the time, Tony needs FRIDAY’s help to figure out what the kid is saying to him, which is also why he knows entirely too much about internet slang these days), and the concept of not getting too attached was completely defenestrated.</p><p>But Tony still doesn’t know what he’s doing. He shows Peter how to build and maintain his own equipment, he gives him a place where he can make his web fluid without a teacher catching him, he treats his wounds whenever Peter doesn’t manage to dodge a knife or bullet, and he reminds the kid again and again that it’s not his job to fix everything that is wrong with the world. Everything else is improvising, and Tony dreads the day when somebody finds out that he has absolutely no clue what he’s doing. The only kind of guideline he has is thinking about Howard and Stane and doing the exact opposite of what they would’ve done.</p><p>Howard would have ignored Tony, and Stane would have brushed all of his concerns away. So, Tony does the opposite. “What does your Peter-tingle say?” he asks, pointing to his own neck with the fry in his hands.</p><p>Peter grimaces. “I thought we agreed to call it spidey sense.”</p><p>“But May loves ‘Peter-tingle’.”</p><p>“May doesn’t get to name it,” Peter pouts and starts talking again before Tony can throw in a counter-argument. “Nothing from my spidey sense.”</p><p>“Then what makes you think they’re up to something? Besides their love for leather jackets, of course.”</p><p>“I dunno,” Peter mumbles, staring down at the rest of his burger, eyebrows pulled together. Tony just waits until the kid is ready to share his thoughts, and takes a long, slurping sip from his milkshake. “Maybe I’m just watching too many movies.”</p><p>Tony, no matter how much he tries to stay serious, snorts. “That, at least, is a definite yes.”</p><p>Peter chuckles in return and devours what is left of his burger as well as half of Tony’s fries.</p>
<hr/><p>Peter is dead.</p><p>And that’s on Tony.</p>
<hr/><p>“They bought a building,” Peter says from his place in the hammock made out of his spiderwebs that sits in the corner of the lab. Peter’s love for sitting in his own webs is one of the weirder aspects of his spider abilities, but pretty harmless.</p><p>“Who?” Tony asks, only half listening as he’s still trying to find the bug in his nanobot’s programming.</p><p>“The gang. The one with the leather jackets.”</p><p>It takes Tony a second to remember their conversation from a few weeks ago. “The ones that were walking around and looking at buildings while wearing leather jackets.” Finally, he finds what he suspects to be the problem with the tiny bots and marks it, knowing he can’t work on it as long as Peter is here and demanding even the tiniest part of his attention. He turns around to look at the boy who is chilling in the giant spiderweb and starts spinning a screwdriver between his fingers.</p><p>“Exactly. And now they bought a building. Or maybe rented it, I don’t know. But they have these moving trucks and all these other guys who help them carry in big boxes.” Peter turns his head just enough to see Tony over his webs.</p><p>“And do those guys also wear leather jackets?”</p><p>“No, they wear long coats.”</p><p>“Buddy, if we start assuming people are bad guys because of their wardrobe, I have to be the worst of them all. I have leather jackets, long coats, and very expensive designer suits. That’s the standard outfit for every stereotypical villain.”</p><p>A grin spreads across Peter’s face. “Maybe you really are a villain. And your evil plan is to stop all terrorists and get every country to switch to clean energy. Such a wicked plan.”</p><p>“One which you have just discovered, so I obviously have to kill you.” Tony takes a scrunched-up piece of paper and throws it at Peter, who catches it easily and laughs. “But back to the fashionable gang. Why do you think they’re up to something?”</p><p>“I just… have this feeling.”</p><p>“Spidey sense?” Peter shakes his head no. “Did you see what’s in those moving boxes?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“So, it could be possible that they’re just opening a shop to sell leather jackets and long coats?”</p><p>“Maybe,” Peter sighs, looking back at the ceiling of the lab, half-lost in his thoughts. “Am I being paranoid?”</p><p>“Possibly,” Tony agrees, thinking the entire situation over. If Peter’s special this-means-trouble-sense would speak up, this would be a different story. FRIDAY even ran the faces of Peter’s suspects (provided by the Baby Monitor protocol) through the police database to find out if they have any kind of criminal record, but they’re clean, not even a speeding ticket. Without any kind of evidence that they are planning something? It may actually just be a group of people who enjoy wearing leather jackets and coats that rented an office for their new start-up company. Walking around, looking at buildings, and moving in isn’t illegal. “As the current president of the Paranoia Club, let me tell you this: I know it’s easy to see demons everywhere. I know it’s so easy to be over-cautious. However, most of the time, it’s not a demon but just an idiot in a mask who tries to scare you.”</p><p>Peter thinks over Tony’s words for a second, gently swinging from side to side in his hammock. “You’re probably right,” he mumbles eventually, not sounding happy at all. “I just worry that I miss something and then someone gets hurt.”</p><p>“I know, but it won’t happen. The second you find something that points to any illegal activities, we can work on what to do. Okay?”</p><p>“Yeah, okay.”</p><p>“Let’s do something fun to lighten the mood. What about that video game you’ve been going on and on about?”</p>
<hr/><p>Tony is out of the country when it happens. There was no possible way for him to get there in time.</p>
<hr/><p>“Breaking news: A massive explosion shook New York tonight. The explosion in Queens destroyed an office building and severely damaged two neighboring buildings. Despite it happening late at night, people had still been in the buildings. Unfortunately, as of right now, ten people died in the explosion, over fifty were injured, seven of which are still in critical condition. The police have just started their investigation, however, they are fairly certain that it hadn’t been an accident, but a domestic terrorist attack. Josh Daniels is near the scene of the crime for us. Josh, what is the situation in Queens right now?”</p><p>“Special units are still searching the area for more bombs as we speak right now, and most residents have been asked to evacuate their homes until they can be sure that there are no other explosives in the area.”</p><p>“Do we know anything about the attackers?”</p><p>“No, not yet. The bodies of the deceased are so severely damaged that identifying them is very difficult. There has been no letter of confession or anything similar. However, one of the bodies most likely belongs to Queens’ own resident vigilante Spider-Man. He has been seen entering the building only minutes before the explosion. Everyone prays that he made it out in time, but there haven’t been any more sightings, which is very unusual for him. All of Queens knows that nothing could keep the good-natured superhero from helping, especially in a situation like this.”</p>
<hr/><p>Rhodey and Vision are at the scene long before Tony finally lands between the heaps of rumbles with a loud bang. Tony is no stranger to the scenes of destruction – starting with him testing the weapons he designed himself over his very early days as Iron Man to even now when he has to fight against weapons that are literally not from this planet. He knows better than most people what the aftermath of a bomb can look like.</p><p>But this takes the top spot, making his insides churn, stealing his breath, and turning his bones into brittle sticks that threaten to break the second someone just dares to look at him.  </p><p>Because this bomb took Peter from him.</p><p>Peter, who told him about the leather jacket gang, who knew something was going to happen – and Tony told him not to worry about it.</p><p>This is completely and utterly on Tony.</p><p>Peter is dead and it’s Tony’s fault.</p><p>Rhodey suddenly materializes besides him in the War Machine suit. He and Vision came to help by either removing debris or looking for more explosives. “Tony-”</p><p>“Where is he?” Tony manages to get out, his mouth suddenly dry. He had FRIDAY check the footage from the suit, but it didn’t give him much information. Peter had, in fact, been in the building when the bomb went off, doing his best to stop it from happening. The last second of footage is the inferno breaking out around him, the flames swallowing everything they can reach and tearing down the building.</p><p>There aren’t a lot of things that could destroy Peter’s suit.</p><p>But that explosion did.</p><p>“They took all the bodies to a morgue to examine them.”</p><p>“Which one?”</p><p>“You can’t barge in there and-”</p><p>“Watch me,” Tony spits, sending his best friend a glare that doesn’t quite manage to hide all of his pain, self-hate, and desperation. “They can’t stop Iron Man.”</p><p>“If you do that, you’re interfering with a federal investigation, which is against the Accords. Ross would-“</p><p>“Fuck Ross!” Tony roars, but his voice breaks. Several people turn their head around, but Tony doesn’t care. He doesn’t care that they must think he’s out of his mind, he doesn’t care what fucking Ross thinks about this, he <em>doesn’t care</em>.</p><p>The only thing he cares about is making the impossible possible and finding Peter alive and well with every single one of his untamable curls in place.</p><p>The look on Rhodey’s face tells Tony he needs to forget that fantasy. “Tones… I know you’re hurting right now, but holding on to false hope won’t make it better. You have to be realistic.”</p><p>Tears start to gather in Tony’s eyes as he shakes his head no. “No. This is not real. It’s not real.”</p><p>Rhodey suppresses a sigh, but the billionaire knows what’s going through his best friend’s head. “Maybe you should go home. Go to Pepper. Talk to May. Vis and I will keep looking.”</p><p>“I’m not leaving,” he presses out through gritted teeth. But despite his best efforts, despite him wanting to single-handedly move away every single piece of rubble, he can’t move a single muscle in his body. Suddenly, the gravity of the situation hits him like a truck.</p><p>Peter is gone.</p><p>And it’s Tony’s fault.</p>
<hr/><p>Tony isn’t sure how he gets back to the penthouse – FRIDAY most likely took over, piloting the suit while Tony was frozen in fear, panic, and heartbreak. Pepper isn’t alone. May is with her. Tony expects to be slapped the second he steps into the room.</p><p>But that doesn’t happen.</p><p>Tony tells her it’s his fault because he didn’t listen to Peter. Then, May slaps him.</p><p>“You promised!” she spits in his face, the uncontrollable sobs momentarily under control, the tears streaming down her face borne not out of sadness but of anger. “You promised to look after him! To show him how to do all of this stupid stuff in a safe way, a way that doesn’t get him killed! You promised you would keep him safe, no matter what! I trusted you! I trusted you with my boy!”</p><p>“I-” Tony wants to say he’s sorry, but it doesn’t seem like the words would be enough. Because no apology in the world would be enough. What’s the point in expressing how absolutely heartbroken, hurt, and sorry he is, how much he hates himself for not listening, how much he wishes he could switch places with him, if those words can’t bring Peter back?</p><p>May stares at him like she expects him to justify himself or make up excuses or tell her he’ll fix this – but he can’t fix this. He can’t bring back the dead. The only thing he has is money and a lab full of fancy equipment, all of which is completely useless, because he can’t bribe the Grim Reaper or build a time machine.</p>
<hr/><p>“I want to see them.”</p><p>Rhodey sighs. “Tony-“</p><p>“I want to see them,” Tony repeats with more vigor, punctuating every word, leaving no room for questioning whether or not he would wrestle Rhodey to the ground to get that folder in his hand.</p><p>There’s a deep, dark, burning feeling inside his stomach that tells him he already knows what’s written in those death certificates and police reports. But there’s this tiny bit of hope, that tiny, blinding, cruel bit of hope that makes him check, because maybe he’s wrong.</p><p>Tony isn’t a religious man, but he prays every second that he is wrong.</p><p>Rhodey gives him a look, one that clearly tells Tony he only wants to spare his friend some pain. Tony decides not to think about said look, and instead snatches the folder that has the bold word <em>CONFIDENTIAL</em> written all over it out of his hands, flipping it open in the same motion.</p><p>All the reports are very short.</p><p>The bomb hadn’t been ordinary, tweaked with the last bits and pieces of alien tech that still circled around the black market, making it a lot more dangerous than a normal bomb of that size.</p><p>The bodies are burned beyond recognition. There’s no way to identify them.</p><p>The words on the page turn blurry as Tony feels his eyes burning with tears and how his lungs refuse to work.</p><p>“I’m so sorry,” Rhodey whispers, and Tony knows he means it, but it doesn’t help. It doesn’t bring Peter back.</p><p>“We can’t even bury him properly,” he eventually says. “We don’t know which body is his.” Rhodey doesn’t say anything more but lays his hand on Tony’s shoulder, while he keeps staring at the reports that get sprinkled with his tears.</p>
<hr/><p>Tony doesn’t know how he survives the next few days. He really doesn’t, because he makes absolutely no effort to do anything that keeps him alive. Pepper is the only one who can talk him into doing the bare minimum like drinking, eating, and sleeping (sometimes), and she also had FRIDAY lock up the entire bar, using the protocol that Tony can’t overwrite to keep him away from any kind of alcohol.</p><p>May is planning a funeral with an empty casket, but Tony doesn’t know any details. He is explicitly not invited. He tried to give her money for all of the costs, but she ripped the check into tiny pieces before throwing them in his face. She even refused to tell him where Peter will be buried. As much as all of this hurts Tony, he can’t be mad at her for doing it. He doesn’t deserve to go to Peter’s funeral or have a place where he can mourn and remember him. It’s his fault he’s dead.</p><p>All of Queens mourns the loss of Spider-Man. Graffiti popped up all over the neighborhood (the entire city, to be honest, but Queens became the unofficial Spider-Man shrine), showing the spider-themed vigilante swinging through the air or giving them a thumbs up, sometimes with a little speech bubble saying “Be nice to each other!” or “Crime is bad!” or a caption that reads <em>the friendliest neighborhood spider</em>. Some people placed candles and flowers in front of those murals, and no matter how often the city removed them, new ones would gather around that place in a matter of a few hours. The people of Queens all wear at least one Spider-Man merch item, and there’s a kind of unspoken understanding that almost all of the profits from the merch gets donated to a good cause, one that Spider-Man would have supported.</p><p>Queens lost their beloved protector, and it’s Tony’s fault.</p><p>Nothing is able to distract Tony from the pain that rushes through his body with every breath he takes – and every breath he doesn’t take, because Tony tried holding his breath as long as he can to see if it would ease his sorrow. But it didn’t. Nothing helps, Tony only sits around, doing nothing, not even finding the motivation to go into his lab (the lab in which he spent countless hours with Peter, listening to his endless chatter, his corny jokes, and all those brilliant ideas that would’ve made the world a better place), waiting for… anything. Anything that would either make this better or make it go away.</p><p>“<em>Boss, there has been a security breach</em>,” FRIDAY speaks up, four days after Tony gave up doing anything.</p><p>“Good. They might kill me.”</p><p>“<em>They already left</em>.” That should gain Tony’s attention because it’s quite unusual, but he feels just as lethargic as before. “<em>However, they left a note, too</em>.”</p><p>“Not interested.”</p><p>“<em>I do believe you will find it interesting</em>.”</p><p>Without Tony ordering her to, FRIDAY pulls up a holo-screen from Tony’s watch, showing him a screenshot of one of the security cameras that are installed on the roof. The billionaire tries to ignore it, but FRIDAY makes the screen bigger and bigger until it’s impossible for him not to glance at it.</p><p>At once, he knows why FRIDAY insisted he takes a look at it.</p><p>A piece of paper is taped to a pole, perfectly in the middle of the camera and close enough for him to read the message written on it without actually zooming in. A message that is written in… crayon, a different color used for every word of the almost child-like looking handwriting. Doodles accompany the message, there’s a sun in one corner, two hearts at the bottom, what looks like a very bad cartoon version of the Iron Man armor, and, for some reason, a unicorn, as well as a Hello Kitty sticker.</p><p>However, Tony really doesn’t care for the crayon or the doodles, because his entire focus lies on the message.</p><p><em>Hi Iron Man! I’ve got a spider who really misses you. How about we meet up? Can’t wait to meet you! xoxo</em> Underneath that are some coordinates, which FRIDAY already researched, showing a little park outside of the city.</p><p>Tony’s heart – the very same heart that splintered into a million tiny, sharp pieces that pierced his insides, causing him everlasting pain – reassembles itself and wastes no time to start beating in a thunderous pace, blood rushing in his ears. For the first time since he read those reports, Tony feels something like hope blossom up in his chest, driving away the pain and torture.</p><p>“Is-Is that real?” Tony breathes, staring at the piece of paper that’s gently moving in the night air, proving that it’s not a screenshot but the live-footage.</p><p>
  <em>“It is.”</em>
</p><p>“Who put it there?”</p><p>“<em>I could not identify the person.</em>” The screen splits in two, one still showing the live footage, while the other shows a video of only a couple of minutes ago. A person appears on the roof, but they clearly knew what they were doing, wearing a long black cape, the hood pulled over their face, carefully maneuvering around so no camera can catch even a glimpse of who might be underneath there. They were gone after mere seconds.</p><p>Tony stares at the message, his mind working at lightning speed. Logic tells him this is a trap. It has to be. There’s no way Peter survived that explosion. And the world knows Tony has mentored the spider-themed vigilante. Someone probably tried to lure him into a trap by taking advantage of his emotional bond to Spider-Man. Going would be a very bad idea.</p><p>But then there’s this small part: hope. Hope that Peter might have actually survived the explosion and that someone found and helped him. Hope that Peter might be alive.</p><p>That hope trumps every tiny bit of logic.</p><p>Tony knows what he has to do. He calls his suit as he jumps up from the couch and hurries to the next window that already opens. “Send one of my cars to that location and notify Helen that I’ll be stopping by for a late-night visit,” he orders. No matter if this is a trap or if it’s actually Peter waiting for him, Tony has no doubt that they’ll need her expertise tonight. By the time FRIDAY confirms everything, he is already racing across the sky.</p><p>It doesn’t take him long to arrive at the spot the coordinates showed because Tony doesn’t wait a single second to up the power of his thrusters to the max. FRIDAY does a quick scan as Tony is about to land, showing him that there are actually no hidden goons waiting between the trees or buried landmines, just a car with a person sitting on the roof.</p><p>Tony lands on one knee with a loud <em>thud</em>.</p><p>“Oh! That was a perfect superhero landing!” a cheery male voice laughs and Tony looks up. The person sitting on the car, coloring in pictures in a Hello Kitty coloring book with crayons, wears a red and black leather suit with two tiny white eyes staring at him. Guns are strapped to his legs, the handles of two swords peeking over his shoulders. What sounds like 90’s hip hop music comes from the car, almost silent, cushioned by the closed doors. FRIDAY does a quick search but can offer no answers as to that person’s identity.</p><p>Tony doesn’t waste time chatting. He raises his hand, repulsor already charged. “Where is he?”</p><p>“Woah, woah, woah, calm down,” the man says, putting down the coloring book and jumping down from the car. “What happened to small talk? Or just, y’know, being nice? Saying hello?” The repulsor starts to glow. “Well, and I always thought Tony Stark is a talker.”</p><p>“I’m in no mood to talk,” he growls.</p><p>“And I’m in no mood to hand a child over to someone who is so trigger-friendly, so maybe you should actually turn off that glowing flashlight of yours.” A high-pitched noise comes from the repulsor. The man shrugs once. “Hey, I’m giving you a fair warning here. Even if you do shoot a hole into my chest, it wouldn’t kill me. It would just make me wonder if maybe I’m a better person to look after a teenager than you are.” Tony doesn’t want to put his arm down, but that guy has more pull, simply because Tony has no idea who he is, what he’s capable of, or where Peter is right now. So, despite everything in him screaming not to do it, Tony lowers his arm, his helmet retracting, showing his very unhappy scowl. “There, that’s better.”</p><p>“Who are you?” Tony asks.</p><p>“I’m famous actor Hugh Jackman,” he answers in a very thick, very fake Australian accent that he drops right after.</p><p>Tony knows it’s not true because he already met the real Hugh Jackman, and that man is definitely not him, but he doesn’t really feel like interrogating Not-Hugh. At least not as long as there are more pressing matters. “I wanna see him.”</p><p>Not-Hugh sighs deeply and very fakely. “And here I was, thinking we might get to know each other first. Oh, well.” Then, with surprisingly little fanfare, he opens the door of the back seat – and Tony forgets how to breathe for a second.</p><p>Peter is sitting in the back seat, wearing an ugly, bright red Christmas sweater and some sweatpants that are way too big on him. He appears to be sleeping, eyes closed and body limp. Burn scars cover a part of his face – Tony can even see the scars covering some of his fingers, peeking out from underneath the sleeves – and some of his hair is gone, replaced by a very short stubble as the only evidence that it’ll grow back.</p><p>Tony barely notices all of those things, his attention on Peter’s chest that is rising and falling with each slow, even breath.</p><p>Peter is here.</p><p>And he’s <em>alive</em>.</p><p>“Peter,” Tony whispers as he staggers forward, not even realizing he’s moving until he’s already next to the boy. Sinking down to his knees, Tony stares at Peter, eyes flying all over his face, memorizing each tiny little detail, because <em>he’s alive</em>.</p><p>Gently, he cups Peter’s not-burned cheek in his hand, running his thumb over his cheekbone to wake him up – something that has never failed Tony before on the odd occasions that Peter fell asleep on the couch in the lab or while watching a movie in their in-home theater. “Hey. Hey, buddy, wake up.”</p><p>Peter doesn’t react.</p><p>Tony tries again. “Peter?”</p><p>Peter still doesn’t react.</p><p>Suddenly, the teenager looks way too close to being dead for his liking. Tony jumps back on his feet, turning around and aiming his already charged repulsor back at Not-Hugh, who does a poor imitation of putting his hands in the air as a sign of surrender. “What have you done to my kid?”</p><p>“I didn’t know Tony Stark has a kid. TMZ would pay me a lot for that story.”</p><p>“Answer me!”</p><p>“Relax, I just drugged him up.”</p><p>“You did <em>what</em>?!”</p><p>“He’s been screaming so much, it was getting on my nerves!”</p><p>Tony narrows his eyes as he growls, “Do you want to be turned into dust? I don’t care if you think you’ll survive a hole in the chest, I will prove you otherwise.”</p><p>“You’re so much less fun than I thought you’d be.” Tony raises an eyebrow, giving Not-Hugh one last chance to explain himself. Not-Hugh takes it. “Listen, that boy’s healing factor isn’t bad. Not the best, obviously, I don’t think he would grow back a hand if I would chop his off right now, but still not bad. You should’ve seen him before, he was covered in burns from head to toe, looking like a young version of Freddy Krueger. It’s also the only reason why he survived that explosion – but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel pain. And healing from something like that? Painful. <em>Very</em> painful. This way,” he points to the unconscious Peter, “he can heal without feeling the pain. So, you’re welcome.”</p><p>Thinking over the words and a bit reluctant, Tony lowers his arm again, looking back at Peter. He knows Peter feels the pain of every minor injury, even though the boy always tries to hide it behind clenched teeth and forced smiles. Tony can’t imagine the kind of agony he has to be in right now. Suddenly, he’s very grateful he already sent a message to Helen.</p><p>“Did you find him?” he asks Not-Hugh as he kneels down again, starting to unbuckle Peter.</p><p>“Yeah, everyone else basically immediately turned into a pile of ashes.” Out of the corner of his eyes, Tony sees Not-Hugh look at Peter, and maybe it’s his imagination, but he thinks the man turns a little softer, some of the sarcasm and jokes he hides behind melting away. “I’ve been looking into those guys for a few weeks now, and I knew they had that bomb. I didn’t really expect someone besides me to survive, but there he was, trapped under half of a wall – which was his luck, because otherwise…” he doesn’t finish, and Tony feels his heart clench painfully, unshed tears burning in his eyes which he quickly blinks away.</p><p>For a second, neither one of them says anything. Not-Hugh is the one to break the silence. “I know you made some questionable decisions in your life – I’m not, like, judging or anything, 9.5 out of 10 people would describe my entire life as a questionable decision – but… he’s so <em>young</em>.” Despite his claims to not judge him, Not-Hugh sounds very judgmental.</p><p>“He didn’t start because of me,” Tony answers and does his best to pick Peter up, careful not to touch the side of his body that seems to be covered in burns. “I tried to get him to stop. I failed. So, I tried to do my best to keep him safe.” <em>And I failed again</em>.</p><p>Not-Hugh doesn’t have any tact. “Didn’t turn out so well.” Tony can’t help but send him a dark glance, but Not-Hugh only shrugs, clearly not bothered that he just put even more guilt on Tony’s already towering mounting of guilt and self-hatred.</p><p>“How did you know to find me?” Tony asks instead.</p><p>“Whenever he was actually awake, he kept asking for people. Your name was the only one I recognized. And, well, there was this very adorable article on Twitter about Iron Man telling Spider-Man to go to bed.”</p><p>Tony remembers that article. Peter has been mortified about it, unable to look his mentor in the eyes for a week, while Tony couldn’t stop smiling. Shaking his head to get rid of that memory, he looks down on Peter’s face, before turning to Not-Hugh again. “Thank you. For helping him and for telling me.”</p><p>“Aw, stop it! You’re making me blush!”</p><p>“I don’t know how to repay you.”</p><p>“How about 20 billion bucks?”</p><p>“Done.”</p><p>“Wait, what?” For the first time in their conversation, Tony actually thinks he caught Not-Hugh by surprise. He, on the other hand, has a hard time not snorting at this ridiculousness. As if Tony wouldn’t give all that he owns and so much more for Peter.</p><p>“Do you prefer check or cash?”</p><p>“Are you… serious right now?”</p><p>“Of course. Do you not know who you’re talking to?”</p><p>“Well-“</p><p>Tony shifts Peter in his arms. “Do you want the money or not? Write down a bank account or something.”</p><p>Not-Hugh wastes no time pulling the coloring book and a (pink) crayon closer, ripping out a page and writing down some numbers – but then he stops midway, crayon pausing while writing an eight. With a groan, he throws back his head. “Why do I have to be such a good person?” Before Tony can ask what he’s talking about, Not-Hugh crumples the piece of paper and turns to him. “Don’t get me wrong, if I would’ve saved you, I would totally take your money. In a heartbeat. But I saved that little guy,” he nods towards Peter, still unconscious in Tony’s arms, “and it feels wrong to take money for saving a literal child.”</p><p>For a second, Tony thinks about pointing out that his agreement to pay 20 billion dollars was actually serious, but he holds his tongue. Out of the corner of his eyes, he sees one of his cars roll closer. “Alright, suit yourself.”</p><p>“I’ll probably regret it later,” Not-Hugh mumbles as he slams the door shut, obviously not happy that he feels bad about taking money in return for saving someone.</p><p>At the loud sound, Peter jerks and starts to blink lazily. Tony’s heart starts beating almost uncontrollably at the sight, one more reminder that Peter isn’t dead, that the universe actually fulfilled one of his wishes. Almost in awe, Tony stares down at his face, drinking up all his features that are moving, that are showing that he’s <em>really alive</em>, and whispers: “Hey, kiddo.”</p><p>“Mr. Stark?” Peter mumbles into his chest, barely intelligible and not lucid quite yet.</p><p>“Yeah, it’s me. I got you. You’re okay.” It looks like Peter wants to nod, but then his face turns into a pained grimace and he starts to hiss. At once, Tony starts to slightly rock him, pulling him a bit closer. “It’s okay, I’m gonna make the pain stop. I promise.”</p><p>“You should get going before he really wakes up,” Not-Hugh says, voice softer again.</p><p>Peter turns his head a bit. “Mr. Reynolds?”</p><p>“That’s right,” Not-Hugh says, this time using a very fake, very thick Canadian accent. “I had a lot fun hanging out with you, but I think it’s time for you to go with your favorite superhero.”</p><p>“’kay,” Peter mumbles, eyes already closed again. “Th’nk y’u.”</p><p>“You’re welcome.” And then the teenager passes out a second time.</p><p>“Thanks,” Tony repeats, knowing he should probably get Peter to Helen as fast as possible before he wakes up again.</p><p>“Let’s not make this a regular thing. Or I will charge that 20 billion,” Not-Hugh warns, walking around the car to get to the driver’s seat. Tony turns around, too, but before he can even take his first step, there’s a banging sound and muffled screams – coming from the trunk of the car. He looks at Not-Hugh with a raised eyebrow, but he only shrugs. “What? Did you really think this is my car?”</p><p>Deciding not to dig any deeper, Tony turns back around and hurries over to his car, securing Peter in the passenger’s seat before driving to Helen.</p>
<hr/><p>It takes three more days for the burns to heal.</p><p>After Helen quickly examined Peter and gave him some more sedatives, they drove to the compound to treat him there. She agreed that it was probably best to keep him unconscious for a while, at least until the worst was over. She also mixed together something that boosted Peter’s healing factor, hooking him up to an IV at the same time to make sure he got more than enough nutrition for the treatment.</p><p>About an hour after May arrived – an hour that she spent sobbing at Peter’s bedside, clutching his hand and completely unable to calm down, not that anyone was telling her to control her emotions – she hugs Tony with so much strength, the billionaire is kind of worried that this is an attempt to maybe squeeze him to death. “Thank you,” he eventually deciphers from her sobs.</p><p>Tony’s heart sinks to the deepest pit of his stomach. “I didn’t do anything. I really didn’t.”</p><p>May sobs again. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>A part of him wants to tell her that she doesn’t have to apologize, that she had absolutely every reason to be angry at him, but he knows it wouldn’t change her mind. So, he simply hugs her back, hoping he can convey all of his feelings.</p><p>Once the burns are healed, they slowly cut back on the sedative, not wanting to overwhelm Peter’s body by going from one extreme to the next. Tony isn’t there when Peter wakes up for the first time. It’s a moment that’s completely reserved for May – besides, Tony is still dealing with all the (justified, in his opinion) guilt, hatred, and blame he puts on himself.</p><p>In fact, it takes Tony 38 hours until he shuffles into Peter’s room at the med bay, and he only did it because May told him to, and Tony will do pretty much everything May asks of him for the rest of his life. When he steps inside, Peter gives him a dopey grin, still kind of dazed from his strong meds, but awake enough to have a real conversation. May described it as talking to someone who is tipsy.</p><p>Tony kind of wishes he could be tipsy right now. No, not tipsy, but completely drunk, so he has an excuse to pass out and not have this conversation. He really doesn’t want to hear Peter tell him how much he hates him and that he doesn’t want to spend any more time with him. Which is what he knows will happen. How can Peter say anything else? Tony failed him – failed him so incredibly much.</p><p>But Tony isn’t ready for this goodbye.</p><p>“Mr. Stark,” Peter greets him, grin still in place.</p><p>Tony swallows the lump in his throat and gives his best paparazzi smile as he sits down on the chair next to Peter’s bed. “Hey, buddy. How are you feeling?”</p><p>“I’m not in pain anymore, and I can remember stuff from more than five minutes ago, so better.”</p><p>“I’m glad to hear that.”</p><p>Peter pulls his eyebrows together, picking up on Tony’s stiff mood, and Tony knows the time has come. His eyes fall to Peter’s blanket, unable to meet his (former) protégé’s gaze, unable to see his rejection, as his heart beats in his throat, his stomach rebelling at the mere thought of saying goodbye – but Tony has to do it.</p><p>He takes a deep breath, bracing himself for what is to come. “Peter, I’m so sorry. And I hope that one day, you may be able to forgive me. Even though I don’t deserve it.”</p><p>“What… Mr. Stark, what-”</p><p>“I’ll make you a new suit, of course. One that’s completely indestructible. I’m already talking to the Wakandan princess about that. She’s a very bright girl with excellent ideas, and she agreed to work with you on maintenance and possible updates.”</p><p>“I don’t-“</p><p>“Rhodey will train you and help you out whenever you feel like you’re in over your head during your patrols. I talked with the best researchers in our R&amp;D department, and they’re more than happy to have you as their intern. Pepper already signed all the papers, so as soon as you feel up to it, you can start and-“</p><p>“Wait, stop.” Peter grabs his hand, sitting up in his bed, and Tony can’t help but finally look at him. A frantic look of panic is all over Peter’s face, eyes as big as saucers, mouth open, as he stares at him. “What’s happening right now?”</p><p>Tony sniffs once. “I’m telling you about the new arrangements for your internship.”</p><p>“B-But why? Why do we need new arrangements?”</p><p>There’s a stab in Tony’s chest. “Isn’t it obvious?”</p><p>Peter grows even more frantic, not even trying to hide the panic that shows so clearly on his face. “No, <em>please</em>, Sir! I promise I won’t do it again, I promise I’ll listen, but please don’t-“</p><p>“Peter, no,” Tony interrupts him, shaking his head as he realizes what’s going through Peter’s mind. “This isn’t about anything you’ve done. This is about me not listening to you.”</p><p>“But-“</p><p>“I didn’t listen and you almost died!” Tony snaps, unable to keep his emotions under control. Peter only blinks a couple of times. “In fact, we thought you died. Body burned so bad that nobody could even tell us whose bodies we’re looking at. May planned your <em>funeral</em>.” At those words, tears spring into Peter’s eyes, but Tony has to fight his own tears and his shaky voice. “And all of that because I didn’t listen to you. You told me that something was going to happen and I didn’t listen. You got hurt so bad that we had to sedate you, just so you could heal without being in agony, because I <em>didn’t listen</em>!”</p><p>“You couldn’t have known, there was no indication they were actually doing something bad.”</p><p>“But you knew. Despite there being no evidence, even without your sixth sense, you knew. And you told me, because I told you to come to me with stuff like that – but I didn’t listen.” The emotions in Tony’s chest threaten to choke him, and he has to take a couple of deep breaths, forcing himself to keep looking into Peter’s eyes. “I failed you. That’s the reason why this mentorship is ending. You deserve someone better.”</p><p>Peter doesn’t answer, and Tony can’t stand to just sit there anymore and look at his blank face while his heart feels like it’s been shattered into a million tiny pieces. Ignoring the aching in his chest and in his left arm, he stands up and is already halfway to the door when Peter speaks up again in an uncharacteristically angry voice. “Don’t I get to choose what I deserve?”</p><p>“Peter-“ Tony sighs and turns back around, but the teenager shakes his head again.</p><p>“No. You didn’t place that bomb or made it go off. It wasn’t your fault I got hurt.”</p><p>“It was!”</p><p>“It wasn’t! You told me to leave it alone, but I didn’t and that’s why I was there when that bomb went off. If you want to blame someone for not listening, I should be blamed.”</p><p>“You only tried to do the right thing.”</p><p>“And you only tried to keep me from going paranoid.”</p><p>“You got hurt!”</p><p>“I don’t blame you for it! Not one bit!” Peter screams, seemingly angry tears rolling out of his eyes that he wipes away with a quick motion of his hand. There are a million comebacks lying on Tony’s tongue, but they refuse to come out, leaving him standing there speechless and staring at the teenager like an idiot. Peter takes the chance to go on. “I forgive you. For whatever you blame yourself for, I forgive you. Okay? Can we go back to normal now?”</p><p>Tony shakes his head again. He doesn’t understand how Peter can forgive so easily. “It’s not about you forgiving me, it’s about me having done something unforgivable.”</p><p>“If it’s not about me, then why are you punishing me?” More and more tears start to roll down Peter’s face and he doesn’t even bother to wipe them away anymore. His bottom lip starts to wobble, but his eyes shine with determination. “I don’t want anyone else to mentor me, I want you to do it. I want you in my life.”</p><p>Now Peter is openly sobbing, and Tony physically cannot stand there and watch. He’s at his side in a matter of seconds, pulling him close and engulfing him in a fierce hug which Peter returns as he continues to sob and cry into his shoulder. Tony can feel his own tears starting to run down his face, but he only buries his face in what’s left of Peter’s curls. “I’m so sorry,” he keeps repeating like a broken record, over and over again, until it becomes as natural as breathing.</p><p>“Please don’t leave me,” Peter mumbles between choking breaths. “Not you, too. Please.”</p><p>“I’m not,” Tony promises, all the heartbreaking ideas of ending the mentorship thrown out of the window. It’s not like he’s sad about continuing to be Peter’s mentor – the exact opposite, actually. Talking to Shuri and the researchers at R&amp;D and figuring out who else would be good enough to guide his kid has been absolutely devastating for Tony. But he figured that Peter wouldn’t want to be around Tony anymore, seeing that all of this had been his fault.</p><p>After a few minutes, when both of them have calmed down enough to actually be able to articulate properly again, Tony vows: “I’m going to be better.”</p><p>Peter, who is still caged in his mentor’s arms – not that he’s complaining, because his grip on Tony is just as strong – doesn’t say anything. Tony knows that he probably wants to say that he doesn’t need to do better, that he shouldn’t feel guilty, that it hasn’t been his fault, but he knows it would fall on deaf ears. It would be the same the other way around, with Peter not listening to Tony telling him it’s not his fault.</p><p>They sit like that for a long time, and eventually Tony starts running one hand through Peter’s hair in a gesture that’s just as comforting for him as it is for Peter. Even though Tony logically knows that the smell is gone, already washed out by May as soon as Peter was allowed to leave the bed, the biting smell of something burning still fills his nostrils, taking him back to the memories of burned down buildings, video footage of unparalleled explosions, pictures of burned bodies, and the feeling of indescribable loss. Automatically, he holds him closer.</p><p>“I need to get a haircut,” Peter says as if he’s read Tony’s mind. “Can’t really get out looking like this.”</p><p>Tony hums, continuing to run his fingers through the few knots in Peter’s curls as he takes another look at the state of the boy’s hair. His body may heal at an accelerated speed, but his hair grows back at a normal one. “I know a barber. A good one. Or we could let DUM-E give it a try, but I worry it might not be an improvement. Also, I don’t really want him with any sharp objects in his claw.”</p><p>“A barber sounds good,” Peter chuckles, soft laughter filling the room. New tears spring into Tony’s eyes, because until now he hasn’t noticed how much he missed that sound.</p><p>Following a deep instinct that suddenly emerges, Tony presses a kiss against Peter’s temple. The tips of Peter’s ears turn bright red, and Tony can’t hide the smile that’s spreading on his face. Not that he’s really trying to hide it. “How about we watch Star Wars, huh? It’s been a while.”</p><p>“Yeah, I would love that,” Peter agrees and gives him a big smile, eyes still a bit watery from the last few tears that haven’t dried up.</p><p>Tony’s heart feels like it’s going to burst with all the love in it. “Alright, but you’re gonna have to make some space in the bed for me. I’m not sitting back down on that chair.” Peter laughs and gladly makes some space for Tony on the bed, who doesn’t hesitate one second to pull his kid close again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Vintervittrannerd I hope you enjoyed this and don't mind me throwing Deadpool in here, because I literally saw no way of Peter being in any kind of danger that is bad enough that everyone thinking he's dead without Deadpool being there to save him. This was also my first time writing Deadpool, and I hope he didn't turn out too OOC. </p><p>If you want to, you can check out my <a href="https://jen27ny.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a> and talk to me! :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>